Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
