in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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