"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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