What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
