I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
