that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
