Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
