Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just had sex on a roof
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
