oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
