Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
