I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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