shes about as inviting as chlamydia
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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