Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
