So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
