You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
