You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize