There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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