I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
