I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
