u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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