he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
