No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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