They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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