Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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