how can u be prego again
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Congratulations! We have a period
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
