a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
