I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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