On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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