So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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