My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
