He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
