he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
