Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
