Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How external is "for external use only"?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
