I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
