If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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