i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
