I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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