We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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