Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
