We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
