Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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