Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
