what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
