my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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