Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
