with your own penis?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
