found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
