Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They took my balls.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
