so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
