You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
