Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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