i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
