also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
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"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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