What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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