She is in my trunk
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
