He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
