how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
