I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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