This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
