there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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